


If I Run

by captainamergirl



Series: Heartbeat [1]
Category: General Hospital (TV 1963)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Lush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: What if Siobhan and Lucky had met during the time he was presumed dead? What if they fell in love and then his past suddenly came knocking?
Relationships: Siobhan McKenna/Lucky Spencer
Series: Heartbeat [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053818





	If I Run

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very AU Lush story. I miss both characters so much! Jonathan Jackson is, of course, the Lucky in this story. I hope you enjoy this!!

**Prologue**  
  
She liked to think she was courageous, brave… _Fearless,_ even. And maybe that was because she had never had anything to truly be afraid of before now. She’d been raised in a happy home where the biggest drama that ever cropped up was the occasional sibling squabble over something as simple as borrowing another's clothes without asking or wanting more personal space in their crowded family cottage on the bluff. Her parents were one of those sickeningly in love couples who after twenty-five years of marriage still gazed at each other with stars in their eyes and had disgusting pet names for each other like “Dearest Love” and “My Irish Lass". Now she wondered briefly if she should blame them for giving her unrealistic views of love; for making her believe in happily ever afters that didn't really exist. She had gone into this thing with blinders on and now she was paying the price. _All of them were._  
  
So yes, she was scared. _Terrified._ The thought of living a life that didn't include Him made her ache, almost beyond what she could bear.  
  
She’d never been given over to tears easily but the past two days, she’d allowed herself more than one good cry. Now, here on the third day, she felt duty-bound to pick herself up, brush herself off, and get this over with. Say her piece and then hop on a plane back to Galway where she belonged. It wasn’t going to be easy going back there, to the place she’d fallen in love with Him, but it was her home before he arrived and shook up her quiet existence.  
  
Coming down the stairs of Kelly’s, she sucked in a deep breath as she spotted Him sitting at the counter, talking to Mike Corbin. She felt so many emotions tidal-wave through her – doubt, self-recrimination, fear… _love._ God, did she ever love him? She’d never believed she could love anyone so much. Why had she gone and fallen in love with a boy who had a past he wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about? What had she been thinking?  
  
 _I wasn’t thinking,_ she whispered to herself. _I let my heart and hormones do the talking and now look where I ended up._  
  
She could only assume that he was here to see Elizabeth and again she wished she had been able to afford to stay someplace in town where Liz didn’t happen to work.  
  
She considered running away, so far and so fast, that no one would ever catch her but she forced herself to move forward and approach Him instead. They both deserved this goodbye, no matter how awkward it was sure to be.  
  
Lucky looked up as she came to slip onto the stool beside his. His eyes went wide and smoky and she could have cried again but she wasn’t about to give in to the indulgence. Not again. She was all cried out. Or dammit, she _should_ be.  
  
“Siobhan,” he said in a low, almost reverent voice. “Hey, how are you?”  
  
Siobhan cringed. So that’s what they had come to. Exchanging polite conversation over breakfast; pleasantries. They were strangers again. Truth was, they always had been, if she were honest with herself.  
  
“I’m – I’m fine,” Siobhan said, hating the shaking in her voice. “Really I am.” Okay, she sounded more sure this time.  
  
“I’m glad,” Lucky said and she knew he was being sincere. Even if he didn't love her anymore, even if he never really had, he was a good man and he wouldn’t want her to be hurting. Especially over him. He wouldn’t think he was worth grieving over. How wrong he was.  
  
Mike looked at Siobhan, seemingly a bit awkwardly. And why not? Everyone knew her crazy little story by now. “Can I get you anything, Siobhan? A cup of coffee or a plate of scrambled eggs?”  
  
The thought of eating right now made her want to projectile vomit. She could feel her guts churning already. “No, nothing for me, but thank you, Mike... It was nice to know you.”  
  
Mike looked at her strangely, as did Lucky, and then he was striding off to leave the exes alone, to give them time alone to talk. Siobhan, for her part, almost forgot what she was going to say.  
  
“Uh, Lucky,” she said, finally finding her voice. “Can we talk for a moment?”  
  
“Of course,” Lucky said, giving her that earnest look that healed her and then broke her all over again. “What’s up?”  
  
“Lucky, I just wanted you to know the truth...” _Well, part of it._  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I am leaving town. I’m going back to Galway,” Siobhan said.  
  
“What? Siobhan, _no._ Why?”  
  
Siobhan sighed. “You know I can’t stay here. I’ve overstayed my welcome already.”  
  
“No...”  
  
“Yes, Lucky, yes. Truth is, I never should have followed you back here. This is your world, your life, where you belong. I am not supposed to be a part of this world of yours.”  
  
“Don’t say that.”  
  
“It’s true and we both know it. You have your full memory back. You remember loving Elizabeth and I’m – I’m glad. I want to know you’re loved and adored the way you deserve. It’s a comforting thought. Truly.”  
  
“Sio-”  
  
“Please let me finish, okay?” He nodded. “Those months we shared … They were some of the best months of my life and I’ll always cherish them. But we both know now that it can’t work out between us. And I’m okay with it.”  
  
“Are you?”  
  
Siobhan nodded resolutely. Did she have a choice? “Yes.”  
  
She watched Lucky’s Adam's Apple bob in his throat. “I didn’t … I never wanted to hurt you, Siobhan. Ever.”  
  
“I know...”  
  
“But please know something. The things I felt while we were together, were as real as anything I’ve ever felt. I just...Well, Elizabeth...”  
  
“I know. She’ll always be the one.”  
  
“She mourned for me for so long...”  
  
“I know. And you remembered your love for her and that’s … that’s amazing.” She almost choked on the words.  
  
“Do you really have to go, though? We could still be friends ...”  
  
“I can’t be your friend, Lucky. Not just your friend. Not anymore,” Siobhan said. "So just do me a favor, alright?”  
  
“Anything.”  
  
“Be happy, okay? That’s how … That’s how I want to remember you – with a smile on your face. So when I walk out the door today, just smile okay?”  
  
“Siobhan...”  
  
“You said you'd do ‘anything’.”  
  
He nodded and looked down for a moment before looking up at her with the brightest smile he could seem to muster. “Does this work?”  
  
“Yes. It’s … beautiful.” She stood. “Goodbye, Lucky Spencer.”  
  
“Goodbye, Siobhan McKenna,” he said, his voice soft though the smile remained affixed on his too-handsome face.  
  
He watched her head back up the stairs, his eyes burning a hole through her, to her soul. She reached her room and zipped up her suitcase. It was all she was taking with her, plus one duffle bag… No that wasn’t totally true. She was also taking a part of Lucky with her. _His child._  
  
There were a million reasons to tell him the truth about this baby and just one reason not to: She knew he would thwart his own happiness to be there for his kid and her and she never wanted him to be with her out of obligation. So while it may be wrong, she was determined that he would never know about the child she was carrying inside of her. She hoped that whatever sex they turned out to be, that they wouldn’t have his eyes. She couldn’t endure the daily reminder. It may very well bring her to knees.  
  
She swiped at her eyes and hitched her duffle over her arm. She picked up the suitcase with her free hand. She didn’t bother looking around the room; didn’t want to memorize even one piece of it.  
  
She headed back downstairs, an envelope of cash for her past week's rent at the ready for Mike. She found Lucky there with a grinning Elizabeth. She had an arm looped around Lucky’s shoulders. Siobhan’s stomach lurched involuntarily. She quickly left the envelope at the end of the counter, tucked between two napkin holders, and hurried towards the exit.  
  
She dared look back once. Lucky met her gaze and he offered her that silly, not quite real smile. She offered him a smile in return and then she ran away as fast as she could.


End file.
